MOBILE HINDI SMS

 Mai tod leta ager wo 'Gulab' hoti,

 Mai jawab banta ager wo 'Swal' hoti,

 Sab jante hai mai nasha nahi karte ,

 Phir bhi pi leta ager wo 'Sharab' hoti...

 Yaad aaye to aankhe band na karna,

 Hum mar jaye to Gum na karna,

 Yeh jaruri nahi k Mulakat ho apni,

 Par dosti k ahsas ko kbhi kam mat karna...

 pal do pal mai hi milti hay khushi

 pal do pal mai hi milta hay gham

 par jo har pal sath nibhay wo dost miltay hain kam

 jaisay k ''

 U ME AUR HUM''

 Aaj bhi kai sawal hai is dil mein, 

 pyar ka gam bezuban hai is dil mein, 

 Kuch kah nahi pata Yeh dil magar tumhare Dil ke liye bahut pyar hai is 

 dil me..

 Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap

 BEAUTIFUL hai,

 SMART hai,

 CHARMING hai,

 CUTE hai,

 to

 KUTTA paliye

 SHER paliye

 SAANP paliye,

 magar...

 GALAT-FAHMI mat paliye.

 Humko pather to khud ko phool keh kar wo muskuraya karte hai,

 Unhe ye nahi malum k pather to pather to pather hi rehte hai,

 Phool hi murjhaya karte hai..

 Jo pyar k riste hum banate hai use logo se kyu chupata hai..

 Ager hote hai gunah kisi se pyar karna to bachpan se hi hume..

 pyar karna kyu sikhate hai.....

 E dost teri dosti k liye

 Duniya chod denge

 Teri traf aye tufan ko mod denge,

 Lekin tune jo sath choda

 Kasam se teri haddiyan tod denge!!EK KHUBSURITI 

 EK TAAZGI 

 EK SAPNA 

 EK SACHAI 

 EK KALPNA 

 EK AASTHA 

 EK VISHVAS 

 YAHI HAI EK ACCAE DIN KI SHURUAAT

 HAVE A NICE DAY.............................

 Sardars friend: yar kal meine kitni baar call kiya,

 uthaya Q nahi?

 Sardar: Q uthaun,30 Rs. de ke jo gaana lagwaya hai,

 woh kya tera baap sunega...

 wo jo sar jukae baithe hai,

 hamara dil churae baithe hai,

 humne unse kaha hamara dil hume lota do,

 to wo bole hum to hatho mein mehendi lagaye baithe ha

 TO,MY DEAR SONIA

 DHADKAN KO DIL MILA.

 SANSO KO MILI HAWA.

 CHNDNI KO CHAND MILA.

 PAR MUJHSE KYON KHAFA HAI KUDRAT

 MUJHE KYON MERA PYAR NAHI MILA.

 Dur nigahonse baar baar jaya na karo,

 Dilko is kadar tadpaya na karo,

 Tum bin 1 pal bhi ji na sakenge hum,

 Ye ehsaas baar baar dilaya na karo

 Khushbu ki tarah aap k paas bikhar jayenge,

 sukun ban kar dil me utar jaayenge,

 mehsus karne ki koshish to kijiye.

 door hote huye bhi paas nazar aayeng

Jab Tum Sharmaati Ho.....

Meri sochon ke harpal mein, tum kyo aa jaati ho,

Mere dil ko anjane mein, tum kyon tadpaati ho,

Is Daman mein to bas, kaanto ka gulshan hai,

Phir is banjar duniya mein, kyon phool sajaati ho,

Dewana bhi kehta hai, ye chand kahan se aaya,

Taaron ke jhurmat mein, jab tum sharmaati ho,

Phir koun na chahega, jeete jee hi marna,

Apni aankhon mein jab, samundar bhar kar laati ho,

In khushk fizaon mein, ghangoor gatta chha jaati hai,

Chehre par mere jab bhi, zulfe lehrati ho,

Is veerane se ghar mein, bahare lout aati hai,

Jab dil ke darwaze par, dastak de kar jaati ho,

Ye dil to pagal hai, bas jhoomta rehta hai,

" Tum mere HUMSAFAR ho", jab keh kar jaati ho.

                 

                NON VAGE SMS

Sex ki class main teacher ne kaha CHOOT ki tasver bana k dikhaoo

larki sharma k neche dekhne lagi to 1 larka bola sir bahan ki lori “Naqal” kar rahi hai..!

             

Wife: or andar ..Thora upar..Thora left

Haan! Or thoda left…

Husband: Ooye, maa ki lori tu chudva rahi hai ya lora parking main lagva rahi 

hai?

          

2 Pathano ke beech fight ho rahi thi,

1st pathan: Khoochi am teri gand maar dega.

2nd pathan; Khoochi serious larai main romantic baat mat karo.

      

Barish main larki k ghile boobs dekh kar,

Boy: aap ki headlight On hogai hai..

Girl: Bill mere baap bharega tumhien kya?

Boy: Par bijli ka thamba to mera hill raha haina..!

Kal mainne khwab main lund ka hafta bazar dekha,

Wah kia lund thay..

KALAY,Motay,Gor

ey,Lambe..MAZA agaya,

Husband: us main mera Lund tha?

Bv: Haan murjha hua tha.

Next day

Husband: Mainne choot ka itwar bazar dekha,Wah kia chootein thi

Chikni,Gori,Maz

a agaya..

Bv: Meri thi?

Husband: Ussi main to bazar laga hua tha.!

Mummy tum shu-shu karti hi ti citi kot bajti hai,mummy-jab teri shadi hogi tuje bhi ek land meliga to teri bhi uapar se citi bajegi-beti–na

hi nahi mene pahele hi collage se gand me horn lagavaya hai

     

8 Saal ka bacha rape k case main pakra gaya,

Lady vaqeel ne court mai uska penis pakra aur boli kya yeh rape kar sakta hai?

Bacha bola HILA mat! Case haar jayege.

        

Teacher

Soch or Veham mein kya farq hai?

Student:

Aap ki beti SEXY hai

ye hamari SOCH hai

Lekin wo hamary haath se bach jaaygi

yeh aap ka VEHAM hai……:

        

Ek admin ne ek randi ko lund pe bitha ke pocha

Tum din mai kitna kama leti ho ?

Randi: 5000 rupee

Aadmi: such batao.

Randi: rozi pe bethi hon jhot thori bolongi.

           LOVE POEM

Aye moj-e-hawa,Ab tu hi bata,

Wo yar hamara kaisa hai?

Jo bhool gaya hum ko kab se,

Wo jaan se pyara kaisa hai ?

Kia us ko jeewan lamho mein,

Koi lamha mera baqi hai ?

Kia uski jaagti aankhon main,

Meri yaad se phaili udasi hai ?

Kia wo bhi meri tarah yun hi,

Shab bhar jaga kerta hai ?

Kia wo bhi saya-e-rehmat main,

Hamain RAB se manga karta hai ?

Agar aisa nahi to tu hi bata,

Hum yaad use Kion kertay hain ?

Wo humse bicher ker khush hai agar,

To hum pal pal kion marte hain ?

        ************

Kaisay kahon k apna bana lo mujhey,

Bahoun main apni sama lo mujhey,

Bin tumharay ek pal bhi kat-ta nahin,

Tum aa ker mujh se chura lo mujhey,

Zindagi to wo hai sang tumharay jo guzray,

Duniya k ghamoun se ab chura lo mujhey,

Mere sab se gehri Khuwahish ho puri,

Tum agar pas apnay bula lo mujhey,

Yeh kaisa nasha hai jo behka raha hai,

Tumhara hon main tu phir sanbhalo mujhey,

Najanay phir kaisay guzray gi Zindagani,

Agar apnay dil se kabhi tum nikalo mujhey.

        ****************

ku ka ta ku ku ke ke ki ki baga ga ga gu k k ki ki ki ki ka

Congrats!! Successfully learnt monkeys language.

Plz cum and collect ur Banana and Certificate

          

           *************

Teacher asked her Student that what will they become in the future?

Raj: Doctor

Ram: pilot

Pinky: Mother

Sam: I will help Pinky...

  

          *****************

Women's Life is very hard.

Morning = wash cloths,

Noon = dry cloths,

Evening= iron cloths,

Night = remove cloths,

late Mid night = search cloths.

       *************

  

Good Morning!

Have u done two most important things in the morning..?

1.PRAY - so that u may live.

2.TAKE BATH -so that others may live!

      ***************

25 useless things in a mans body:-

20 Nails you cant hammer

2 Tits you cant get Milk

1 Cock that Doesnt Crow

and 2 Balls you cant throw.

      

         ***************

.....................samaj na hamko beawafa hum to aksar saath diya karte hai 

...........gujre jo tere ghar ke saamne se to bahut kuch khe diya karte hai

.............fark sirf itna hai ..............

....darte hai aaj bhi ezzar a mhoobat se

................kahi tu kafa na ho jaaya ...............

......isi dar se chup chup kar dekh liya karte hai........... 

       *********************

फूलो से कह दो महकना बंद कर दे, की उनकी महक की कोई जरूरत नही....

सितारो से कह दो चमकना बंद कर दे, की उनकी चमक की कोई जरूरत नही....

भवरो से कह दो अब ना गुनगुनाये, की उनकी गुंजन की कोई जरुरत नही....

सागर की लहरे चाहे तो थम जाये, की उनकी भी कोई जरुरत नही....

सुरज चाहे तो ना आये बाहर्, की उसकी किरणो की भी जरुरत नही....

चाँद चाहे तो ना चमके रात भर, की उसके आने की भी जरुरत नही....

वो जो आ गये हैं इस जहाँ में, तो दुनिया मे और किसी खूबसूरती की जरुरत ही नही ..

       *******______******* 

aap ne apni aankhoon mein noor chupa rakha hai,

hosh waloon ko dewana bana rakha hai,

naaz kaise na karoon aap ki dosti per,

muhj jaise nachiz ko khas bana rakha hai.

***********

kismat se apni sabko shikayat kyon hai,

jo na mila usise mohabbat kyon hai,

kitni mushkile hai rahon mein,

phir bhi dil ko usi ka intezaar kyon hai.

**********